'Mid-Service Crisis'

The 1-year mark of Peace Corps service is in the rearview mirror. By now, expectations have been adjusted and some gloomier realities about service have replaced the warm fuzzy ones that typically come to mind when one mentions ‘Peace Corps’ to an untrained ear. Not to say that the photo-op moments don’t capture the real emotion and experience of life in our communities; I’ve collected hundreds of ‘likes’ and ‘atta-boys’ along the way for photos and stories that are by no means a fib. However, what we convey to our at-home/‘3^rd goal’ audience often depicts merely one step forward after several steps back. It’s our highlight real.

The steps backward are not photo worthy, however, they are what make Peace Corps service, truly, service. Try taking a photo capturing restrictions on free speech, personal belongings that curiously go missing, or being hounded by catcalls. It’s not all fun and games.

About 27% of volunteers who swear in after pre-service training do not finish the two years, and within that figure about 66% resign. Unfortunately, some circumstances leading to an early termination of service are beyond a volunteer’s control. Support staff and fellow Peace Corps Volunteers do what they can to offer technical support and council, but ultimately, with limited resources (which are about to become even less), concrete assistance for challenges faced in-sites is hard to come by, especially for sites farther from the in-country headquarters/office.

None of the above should come as a shock to any current volunteers, the 225,000 RPVCs, or PC employees. During 3 months of pre-service training, we are introduced, warned, and coached on the possible hurdles to come. One session in particular covers the handy dandy, oh-so-true, “Cycle of Vulnerability and Adjustment” and is required for all PCV’s across the globe. (See below)

The graph is surprisingly accurate. Surely, it is based on troves of historical data. Privilege, denial, anger, the list of emotions felt goes on over the course of their 27-month long journey, though personally I think the label ‘Mid-Service Crisis’ used to describe the mid-service ‘lull’ PCVs go through comes on a little too strong. Consider that there are real crises, from climate change to governmental corruption, that effect our host-country communities everyday. Nonetheless, during this time, I find myself somewhat vulnerable, though you probably wouldn’t know it from the outside looking in. Many of us put on ‘Peace Corps Face’ as soon as we leave our room for the day or log onto Facebook. To casual observers, it is probably assumed that the PC experience scorecard looks something like the graph I designed to the right.

Unfortunately, Peace Corps’ graph better reflects the roller coaster cycle of vulnerability and adjustment better than mine. The various ways PCVs overcome those “low” points, where they dip into the vulnerable area, are as diverse as the body of individuals’ motivations for why they chose to apply in the first place.

The best piece of advice I give to perspective volunteers, ranging from those first considering applying to trainees about to swear in, is to consider your motivation for serving. Will it be enough to keep you there when the rug has been pulled out from under you and you’re at your most vulnerable? Not surprisingly, Peace Corps ask about one’s motivation for applying to all applicants during their interview and it is revisited during pre-service training.

Among other reasons, I joined Peace Corps because it will be the toughest task I will have ever accomplished to date: a large step out of my comfort zone. I knew that participating in the pilot Community Economic Development Colombia, in particular, would bring additional unforeseen obstacles abiding an already difficult experience. I also knew that the grit developed by persevering through the highs and lows of service is necessary in order to achieve my long-term goals. And while these are some reasons that motivated me to join PC, after arriving, I developed an additional set of reasons to stay. I owe it to my local community. I owe it to the others who applied to be in my position. And, I owe it to myself.  I remind myself what my soccer coach use to tell me “If it was easy, everyone would do it”, and sometimes even translate it into Spanish to motivate the youth I spend time with. I’m as happy hell 399 days into service and ready to make the most of the 427 days remaining. 

Fish